Oh, jlee, thank you. I'm in a pretty crappy mood at the moment, but you made me smile.
Well, on the upside, everything else seems to be working perfectly, and I've installed all the drivers for my graphics card, audio, etc. The monitor I bought is freakin' gorgeous, even though I've only gotten to look at Windows 7 Pro's preinstalled desktop backgrounds.
I've found a wireless card at Office Depot that seems to be pretty good, so I can have my Dad pick it up tomorrow after work, but it costs $50. Lucky for me, I got a surprise $100 from my parents for my birthday (supposedly in case something like this happened), so I'm not broke, but still, I'd prefer not to have to use the money to buy something I already have. I'd much rather have used it to buy some games or something. I guess I can at least buy Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood and maybe something else, and I've got still-unopened copies of Crysis, Left 4 Dead, and Counter-Strike: Source. I can also use the extra-long antenna from the dead card to get a better signal. Could be worse, I guess, but still, I can't believe my Dang luck.