Omegle thread

[Joeyjoe9876]

ok heres the best one i've done today xD
little kids should not read this one.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: ooooh baby
You: hows it feel?
Stranger: great
Stranger: do you mind if he stays overnight?
You: whos he??
Stranger: umm, the pool boy...
You: WHAT i'm sorry but we are done.
Stranger: well, honey..
Stranger: you *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ed the lady last night
Stranger: it's only fair
You: you have a point..
Stranger: you know, just because i don't have F cups like her
Stranger: doesn't give you any right
Stranger: you'll see in ten years. they'll be at her knees
You: i'm sorry its just the pool boy smells bad
Stranger: he smells fanfreakingtastic
You: he smells like ass to me
Stranger: and don't even get me started on that body
Stranger: that's you, sweetie. not him...
You: but i thought you loved my jelly rolls...
Stranger: well, i like jelly rolls, not muffin tops
Stranger: and it's been troubling every morning
Stranger: i can't keep rolling you to the bathroom
You: im sorry, you want me to start a diet? it has to have chocalate though
Stranger: yeah. can you lose 200lbs in two weeks?
Stranger: or you can't go to my work social thing...
You: maybe if you would pleasure me more often i would have the motivation
Stranger: baby, i suck your dick every hour
Stranger: what more do you want?!
You: i... i just don't know
Stranger: tell me what you want that i don't already give you
You: a foursome.
Stranger: with two guys?
You: two chicks.
Stranger: we already tried the threesome
Stranger: and i already got you the dildo you liked so much
Stranger: fine, two chicks
You: thank you.
Stranger: but you have to get me the chip n dale crew
You: ok sweetie thats fine.
Stranger: *sigh*
Stranger: why are we even together?
Stranger: it's not like your kids like me
You: i don't know.
You: i'm sorry but i have to say good bye.
Stranger: *Can'tSayThisOnTV* you, we're divorcing!

 

[βeta]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: hi
You: greetings from tropical Connecticut
Stranger: freeze
You: I won't freeze unless you have a gun or a knife
You: but with a knife, it's still iffy
Stranger: freeze!
Stranger: damnit
You: okay.
You: I'm frozen
Stranger: hands on the car
You: doneski
Stranger: whats this in your pocket?
You: My wallet?
Stranger: no
You: It's a test tube
Stranger: front pocket
You: I'm not happy to see you
Stranger: ohhhh
Stranger: that is bad
Stranger: what is in the test tube. mein kamph?
You: It's ebola.
You: I am a scientist
Stranger: Sega
Stranger: you are goin downtown
You: I thought I was being mugged
You: this is so confusing to me
Stranger: not now
You: Oh.
Stranger: now you will be executed
You: Aren't you supposed to read me my rights?
Stranger: you have no rights
You: Aw.
You: Can I have some little, not important ones?
Stranger: what do you want? last wishes.
You: How about not dying?
Stranger: not an option
You: Oh.
You: Can I postpone it?
Stranger: no
You: Can I have some steak or something
You: I'm hungry
Stranger: that's it? *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing steak?
You: I am but a simple man.
Stranger: no hookers, no blow?
You: meh.
Stranger: a bible?
You: I'm a scientist.
Stranger: ahh.
Stranger: agnostic.
You: I suppose
Stranger: ok. three hookers, two steaks, one bag of crank. have a good life.
You: Thanks.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[βeta]

Dubba post:

Stranger: helloo
You: FREEZE, HANDS IN THE AIR
You: I'M NOT AFRAID TO SHOOT
Stranger: =o
You: GIVE ME EVERYTHING
You: WALLET
You: PHONE
Stranger: im frozen
You: JEWELRY
You: I'M NOT *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ING JOKING
You: I'LL BLOW A GOD Dang HOLE IN YOUR CHEST
Stranger: Sega be cool!
Stranger: Sega
Stranger: Be
Stranger: COOL
You: GIVE ME THE *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ING flax
You: I'M NOT KIDDING AROUND HERE
You: DO YOU WANT TO *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ING DIE
You: GIVE ME THE flax
You: NOW
Stranger: FCKYEW
You: DO IT NOW
Stranger: fckyew
Stranger: fckyew!
You: pew pew pew
You: now you're dead
Stranger: arghghghghgh
Stranger: blagh
Stranger: x.x
You: YEAH Sega
You: WHAT NOW

 

[XCVG]

Stranger: hi
You: you wanna buy some weed
You: common, you know you wanna
You: buy some weed
You: naw I'm just kidding I only have pirated DVDs
You: want some
Stranger: i'm homeless and i stole this guys laptop
You: some of this flax hasn't even been released yeyt
You: does it have a DVD player
You: yeah it does, I can tell
You: here, free sample
You: die hard
You: it's a chinese dub but whatever
You: you're not talkative enough
You: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Stranger: the punk kids cut it out

 

[J.D]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hello
Stranger: asl
You: dick eating monkey bananas
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[robm]

What is asl anyway.

 

[QuickSkop3]

Age, Sex, Language.

 

[Jidan]

I thought the L was for Location?

 

[Joeyjoe9876]

It is.

 

[βeta]

American Sign Language.

 

[epicelite]

Chat Roulette?

 

[Basement_Modder]

Stranger: men
You: Sup, baby
Stranger: Nothing much
Stranger: you, sexy?
You: Sexy as a dolphin
Stranger: You know I love *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing sea creatures!
You: I know a guy in Long Beach whose the same way
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[vskid3]

Chat Roulette?

That site lives up to its name. Be prepared to see guys fapping if you go on there. The idea is good, but Omegle is usually better to actually talk to people.

 

[Joeyjoe9876]

i've had some decent conversations in there about real life stuff. like the other day some girl asked me if she looked good cause she was 15 and had never had a boyfriend, she linked me to her facebook and i didn't believe it was her until i added her and she was like "is that you with the shirt off?" XD and she actually didn't look that bad and thats what i told her lol.

 

[snowpenguin]

Hey vskid! surprised to see you here !

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hey
Stranger: 18 m canada
Stranger: u?
You: 64 f usa
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[AfroLH]

Got some good advice:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hey
You: Sup
Stranger: not much
Stranger: you
You: I think I am slowly going insane
You: Pretty fun flax
Stranger: cool
Stranger: why do you think you are?
You: I know why, because I am severly depressed
Stranger: why are you
You: Because my GF left me after 10 hours because she wasn't over another guy
Stranger: dam
Stranger: well get over it
Stranger: if she dumped you that
You: I can't, bro
Stranger: fast
You: I love her
Stranger: she anit worth it
Stranger: i know how ya feel bra
Stranger: but
Stranger: she a Sega
You: She apologized though
Stranger: dont let her take control of your life
Stranger: and
You: Yeah
Stranger: dont mean flax
Stranger: you best walk away from her
Stranger: not even be freinds wit her
Stranger: she anit worth your time
You: Yeah, thanks for the advice, bro
Stranger: Np
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

And umm:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Yo
Stranger: Im a walrus
You: I AM THE EGGMAN
Stranger: NO
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[Bibin]

This is a sad thread.

 

[Twilight Wolf]

I don't believe you. It looks like everyone's having fun to me.

 

[TheNineRings]

 

[nightwheel]

I've been using omegle off and on for quite a while now. Here just some of the omegle chats from the times I have used it:

Stranger: WHERES MY INFANT U BABY STEALER WTFFF
You: I sold it to the koreans
Stranger: WTF THEY'LL EAT HIM
Stranger: U SLY LITTTLE NINJA
You: Thank you
You: i think they said he would make a tasty dinner
Stranger: D: D: D:
Stranger: I MUST STOP THEM
You: I'm not paying for your flight
You: your baby, yor problem
Stranger: *Can'tSayThisOnTV* THAT ILL MAKE A NEW ONE. wanna participate?
You: no
You have disconnected.

You: hello
Stranger: hi
You: what are you up to
Stranger: Just got out of jail
You: Wait, you are Vince the Shamwow guy?
Stranger: A hooker tryed to bite my tounge off, so i beat the flax out of her.
You: I KNEW IT
Stranger: You know me?
You: you sell shamwows on Tv
Stranger: Yes, i do.
Stranger: Would you like to buy one?
You: I'm broke
Stranger: Good for cleaning up hooker blood
You: hahahahah don't doubt that
Stranger: And horse semen
You: ewwww
Stranger: You wanna see pics?
You: no thank youi
Stranger: You got pics??
You: NO
Stranger: You know me now i need to know you
Stranger: comon
You: no
Stranger: fine
Stranger: So, what do you want then ?
You: not be gay
Stranger: What does that have to do with this convo
Stranger: Absolutly nothing
Stranger: you are random
You: as are you
Stranger: ok
Stranger: Were you talking to me yesterday?
You: I haven't been on Omegle for a few weeks
Stranger: Then how did you know I was the shamwow guy?
You: I just got out of jail
Stranger: Lol,
Stranger: You wanna hear a joke?
You: sure
Stranger: Knock knock
You: whos there
Stranger: Disco
You: Disco who
Stranger: Disco nected :0
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: In August, we'll have lots of sex
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Are you my daddie?
Stranger: Are you raptor jesus?
You: you answer my question and I'll answer yours
Stranger: You don't understand
Stranger: Just answer
Stranger: Are you raptor jesus?
Stranger: Then you will have the answer
You: YES I"M RAPTOR JESUS
Stranger: There you go, yes I'm your daddy
Stranger: How are you doing son?
You: fine
Stranger: I've seen you've been trolling the internets for quite some time, my child.
Stranger: Why is this?
You: I've seen the same from you dad
You: for flaxs and giggles
Stranger: Well, there you have my answer boy
Stranger: And for justice as well
You: thank you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hello
I've waited here for you
Everlong
You: ok................
You: why did you wait for me?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Heil Hitler
Stranger: HAIL ALMA MATER
You: Shall we start World War 3?
Stranger: NO NO NO. START LICKING YOUR DOG's ****
You: ▓██████████▓░▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒█
▓██████████▓███████▒▒▒░░░▒▓██▒▓█▒
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You: THIS IS SPARTA
Stranger: AHH. BULLflax
You: *Kicks you into the pit*
Stranger: OH?!
You: …………………………………………„„-^*''''*^~^*'''*^-„„
…………………………………….„-^*''::::::::::„„„-~-„„~-*-„„-^*~~-„„
………………………………..„-^*''::::„„„-::::„„-~~-„„::~-„„::::/:::-~^:*^-„
…………………………….„-*':::::::::„-^*::-„„:::~-„„::-„:\:::\:/::„„„„-~:::::'\
………………………….../::::::::„-~^^::::^~-„:*-„::\::„-*-„/„:::::::::::„„-::'\
…………………………../::::::::/::-~~-„„::-„::'\:„„-*' . . . . *-„::::„„„-~^::
………………………….|::::::::~~-„„____„„„-~^* . . . . . . . . *-„:::::::-„\
………………………….|:::::„-^*''¯ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'\::::^-„:-„\
………………………….|::::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'|::::~-„„:'|
…………………………..\:::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . \:::~-„„„
……………………………\::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\:::::::„-'„
…………………………….*-| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . „„-~~~~-„„ . . .'\::::/ /''\'\
……………………………...-| . „„-~~~~-„ . . . . „-*„-^*''o¯¯'''''*' . . . \:/ / . | |
……………………………...'\| .*^^*'''¯o¯'''*-„ . . . ,''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . | .\*-„ '|
…………………………….....| . *^~~-~^*'' .| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .| ./-~./
……………………………….\'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'| . . /'
………………………………...| . . . . . . .„- ' . . . .*^„ . . . . . . . . . . '|*^*' I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC..
…………………………………*-„ . . . . . \„-„„_„„-^^-* . . . . . . . . . . .'| ........Why don't you have a seat over there
……………………………………\ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
…………………………………….'\ . . . „„_„„-~--~^*''''''. . . . . . . . . / .\
……………………………………...\ . . . .''*^~~~^^* . . . . . . . . . '/ . . \-„-„
……………………………………….''-„ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .„-* . . . | . \''*-„„
………………………………………….*-„ . . . . . . . . . . . . „„-^'' . . . . / . . '\;;;;*^-„„
…………………………………………....|*^-„„ . . . . . . .„„-*' . . . . . ./' . . . .|;;;;;;;;;;¯''*^~-„„_
……………………………………….„„-^*'|\ . . ¯''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . .„-* . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;¯'''*^~-„„_
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi I'm Vince with ShamWow
Stranger: There's no internet in jail, you lady beater
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Naw Dang
Stranger: sure
You: I'm on the wrong site
You: whats this site called
Stranger: omegle
You: I thought I was going to Beagle.com
You: and thsi was the help chat
You: I needed help with my hunting dog
Stranger: lol ill help u
Stranger: whats the problem?
You: Well good ole Butch seems to be having people finding the rabbits. He keeps finding Skunks]
Stranger: lol
You: And the bad thing is, he keeps spooking them
Stranger: shoot the dog and get a new 1
Stranger: thats broken
Stranger: ;DDD
You: Butch is a good boy
You: but I guess your right
You: Gotta go
Stranger: LOL
You: Come on Butch
You: we are going out side
Stranger: outside to shoot hte dog?
You: yep
Stranger: lololol
You: but don't tel Butch that
You: *hears from out side*
You: Good Butch stay still
You: *BANG*
Stranger: cillit
Stranger: bang
Stranger: and the dir is gone
Stranger: t*
You: Thanks for the hellp
Stranger: np
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heeeeeló
Stranger: sex ?
You: and where have you been this hour
Stranger: aka ríð ?
You: its a school night young man
Stranger: eeepusssy
Stranger: like klaaas
You: dont talk that way to me
You: GO TO BED
Stranger: smae
You: thats it young man your gronded for 4 weeks
You: no TV
You: no computer
Stranger: ok
Stranger: seges
You: keep doing it
Stranger: singen
Stranger: sjanghæ
You: alright thats it
how will you like it when you have no video game console anymore.
Im gonna take it to goodwill first thing in the morning
Your conversational partner has disconnected.