i have a complaint.

J

Joeyjoe9876

Frequent Poster
Based on ModRetro's response to my previous letter, I believe it's safe to say that any correspondence between what ModRetro says and the truth is purely coincidental. Let me get to the crux of the matter: It doesn't do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of ModRetro's policies in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must stand as a witness in the divine court of the Eternal Judge and proclaim that we will need to use diverse skills and tactics if we are to balkanize ModRetro's litigious, recalcitrant crime syndicate into an etiolated and sapless agglomeration. It should scarcely seem questionable to anyone that ModRetro fails to consider the consequences of its vaporings. That much is crystal clear. But did you know that this is a very real and serious concern? That's why I'm telling you that double standards are always callow. Its torchbearers probably don't realize that because it's not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, a central point of ModRetro's belief systems is the notion that children don't need as much psychological attentiveness, protection, and obedience training as the treasured household pet. Perhaps it should take some new data into account and revisit that notion. I think it'd find that if its generalizations get any more damnable, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep.

When I say that ModRetro flaunts its personal principles and attitudes in front of everyone else, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that the most valuable skill one can have is the ability to lie convincingly. This is a common fallacy held by villainous cheapjacks. We wouldn't have a problem with larrikinism if it weren't for ModRetro. Although it created the problem, aggravated the problem, and escalated the problem, ModRetro insists that it can solve the problem if we just grant it more power. How naïve does it think we are? Truly, I am convinced that there will be a strong effort on ModRetro's part to deplete the ozone layer in the blink of an eye. This effort will be disguised, of course. It will be cloaked in deceit, as such efforts always are. That's why I'm informing you that ModRetro says that it holds a universal license that allows it to respond to this letter with hyperbolic and uncorroborated accusations and assaults on free speech. You know, I don't think I have heard a less factually based statement in my entire life.

ModRetro accuses me of being narrow-minded. Does it avouch I'm narrow-minded because I refuse to accept its claim that merit is adequately measured by its methods and qualifications? If so, then I guess I'm as narrow-minded as I could possibly be. ModRetro's method (or school, or ideology—it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of "ModRetro-ism". It is a hypersensitive and avowedly antisocial philosophy that aims to pilfer the national treasure.

When I look back I think, "It's amazing that ophidian braggadocios like ModRetro still exist in this day and age." Most of us who have been around for a while realize that ModRetro has been trying for some time to convince people that its ideals will spread enlightenment to the masses, nurture democracy, reestablish the bonds of community, bring us closer to God, and generally work to the betterment of Man and society. Don't believe its hype! ModRetro has just been offering that line as a means to twist the teaching of history to suit its uncongenial, duplicitous purposes. Be forewarned: I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of ModRetro's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of ModRetro's writings to know that the basal lie that underlies all of ModRetro's wretched, uncivilized roorbacks is that the best way to serve one's country is to wipe out delicate ecosystems. Translation: The few of us who complain regularly about ModRetro's communiqués are simply spoiling the party. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views but you should nevertheless be aware that we have a choice. Either we let ourselves be led like lambs to the slaughter by ModRetro and its secret police or we eschew incompetent metagrobolism. While I don't expect you to have much trouble making up your mind you should nevertheless consider that my goal is to get ModRetro to realize that it thinks there should be a law prohibiting people from saying any harsh or unkind things against it. Of course, if it insists on remaining an ignorant, uninformed, and ill-informed joker, that's its prerogative.

At the risk of sounding hopelessly morbid, it's best to ignore most of the quotes that ModRetro so frequently cites. It takes quotes out of context; uses misleading, irrelevant, and out-of-date quotes; and presents quotes from legitimate authorities used misleadingly to support contentions that they did not intend and that are not true. In short, we are observing the change in our society's philosophy and values from freedom and justice to corruption, decay, cynicism, and injustice. All of these "values" are artistically incorporated in one person: ModRetro. One final point: ModRetro is so incredibly brazen that it really ought to change its name to "Brazen McBrazen, the Brazen King of the Brazen".

:lol:
http://www.pakin.org/complaint/ make your own complaints there lol
 
May I be cynical for a bit? I hope you don't mind, but with ModRetro's latest barrage of disruptive conjectures, I can't resist the urge to make a few cynical comments. In the first place, many people are looking for a modern-day Moses who will split the sea of teetotalism and clean up the country and get it back on course again. I can't claim that I'm the right person for the job, but I can say that even ModRetro's patsies are afraid that ModRetro will destroy, debauch, devalue, and dehumanize a wide assortment of innocent people when you least expect it. I have seen their fear manifested over and over again, and it is further evidence that I recently informed ModRetro that its subalterns play the blame game. ModRetro said it'd "look further into the matter." Well, not too much further. After all, it loves getting up in front of people and telling them that its adversaries are aligned with very dark and malevolent fourth-dimensional aliens known as Draconians. It then boasts about how it'll use both overt and covert deceptions to impose tremendous hardships on tens of thousands of decent, hard-working individuals one of these days. It's all part of the media spectacle that is ModRetro. Of course, it soaks it up and wallows in it like a pig in mud. Speaking of pigs and mud, ModRetro is like a giant octopus sprawling its slimy length over city, state, and nation. Like the octopus of real life, it operates under cover of self-created screen. ModRetro seizes in its long and powerful tentacles our executive officers, our legislative bodies, our schools, our courts, our newspapers, and every agency created for the public protection.

Facts and their accuracy make a story, not the overdramatization of whatever ModRetro dreams up. That said, let me continue. If you want to hide something from ModRetro, you just have to put it in a book. ModRetro should think about how its wisecracks lead the most abusive thieves I've ever seen to unleash an unparalleled wave of colonialism. If ModRetro doesn't want to think that hard, perhaps it should just keep quiet.

With friends like ModRetro, who needs enemies? I mean, if natural selection indeed works by removing the weakest and most genetically unfit members of a species then it is clearly going to be the first to go. ModRetro never tires of trying to extinguish fires with gasoline. It presumably hopes that the magic formula will work some day. In the meantime, it seems to have resolved to learn nothing from experience, which tells us that it's clearly astounding that it has somehow found a way to work the words "indistinguishability" and "schizosaccharomycetaceae" into its hypnopompic insights. However, you may find it even more astounding that if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem.

Please remember that ModRetro seems to have recently added the word "calcareoargillaceous" to its otherwise simplistic vocabulary. I suppose it intends to use big words like that to obscure the fact that it will not be easy to get it off our backs. Nevertheless, we must attempt to do exactly that for the overriding reason that I should note that for ModRetro's superficial plans to succeed, it needs to dumb down our society. An uninformed populace is easier to control and manipulate than an educated populace. By the end of the decade, schoolchildren will stop being required to learn the meanings of words like "intercommunicability" and "homotransplantation". They will be incapable of comprehending that it's ModRetro's belief that my letters demonstrate a desire to introduce disease, ignorance, squalor, idleness, and want into affluent neighborhoods. I can't understand how anyone could go from anything I ever wrote to such a heartless idea. In fact, my letters generally make the diametrically opposite claim, that it's possible that ModRetro doesn't realize this because it has been ingrained with so much of interventionism's propaganda. If that's the case, I recommend that we focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of an untoward agenda.

Imagine a world in which ModRetro could defuse or undermine incisive critiques of its snappish behavior by turning them into procedural arguments about mechanisms of institutional restraint whenever it felt like it. ModRetro says that it is a protective bulwark against the advancing tyranny of bloody-minded jabberers. What balderdash! What impudence! What treachery!

If I may be so bold, if you look back over some of my older letters, you'll see that I predicted that ModRetro would subordinate principles of fairness to less admirable criteria. And, as I predicted, it did. But you know, that was not a difficult prediction to make. Anyone who has bothered to learn even a little about ModRetro could have made the same prediction. ModRetro writes a lot of long statements that mean practically nothing. What's sneaky is that it constructs those statements in such a way that it never occurs to its readers to analyze them. Analysis would almost certainly indicate that there are some flippant, infantile protestors who are mischievous. There are also some who are misguided. Which category does ModRetro fall into? If the question overwhelms you, I suggest you check "both".

I would very much like to see ModRetro crawl back under the rock it slithered out from. This applies first and foremost to a coterie under whose loathsome brand of fanaticism the whole of honest humanity is suffering: ModRetro's army of slimy nincompoops. Although mutinous airheads are relatively small in number compared to the general population, they are increasing in size and fervor. ModRetro masterminded last year's now-infamous attempt to make empty promises. History offers innumerable examples for the truth of this assertion.

There are situations where certain tracts are appropriate and there are situations where they are not. Never before have I encountered more bloatedly self-important prose than that which ModRetro produces. ModRetro has frequently been spotted making nicey-nice with socially inept segregationists (especially the lubricious type). Is this because it needs their help to break us up into a set of quarreling, wrangling, squabbling factions? That's not a rhetorical question. What's more, the answer is so stunning that you may want to put down that cereal spoon before reading. You see, ModRetro should work with us, not step in at the eleventh hour and hog all the glory.

Nobody wants ModRetro to convince people that their peers are already riding the ModRetro bandwagon and will think ill of them if they don't climb aboard, too, but ModRetro insists on doing it anyway. Maybe ModRetro is being manipulated by the most stinking dummkopfs I've ever seen, but even so, I've heard of catty things like irrationalism and academicism. But I've also heard of things like nonviolence, higher moralities, and treating all beings as ends in and of themselves—ideas which its ignorant, unthinking, materialistic brain is too small to understand. I will not say what is right and what is wrong when it comes to ModRetro's viewpoints. But I will say one thing: If ModRetro can one day substitute rumor and gossip for bona fide evidence then the long descent into night is sure to follow.

Maybe you, too, want to condemn children to a life of drugs, gangs, drinking, rape, incest, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and a number of other horrors, so let me warn you: That's just one side of the coin. The other side is that ModRetro sometimes has trouble convincing people that the rules don't apply to it. When it has such trouble, it usually trots out a few doctrinaire dopeheads to constate authoritatively that the world's salvation comes from whims, irrationality, and delusions. Whether or not that trick of its works, it's still the case that we must stand uncompromised in a world that's on the brink of ModRetro-induced disaster. This is a terrible and awesome responsibility—a crushing responsibility. However, if we stick together we can can show the world that ModRetro is utterly clumsy, as it has proved to my complete satisfaction. To close, let me accentuate that if we build bridges where in the past all that existed were moats and drawbridges we shall not only survive ModRetro's attacks; we shall prevail.
 
I want to make it perfectly clear what I do not intend to do in this letter before I carry on with what I do wish to accomplish with it. So, without further ado, I present you with this all-important piece of information: Adm. Bac T Ria, Esq. commonly appoints ineffective people to important positions. He then ensures that these people stay in those positions because that makes it easy for Bac to use terms of opprobrium such as "fatuitous sideshow barkers" and "beastly heresiarchs" to castigate whomever he opposes. Knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That's why it's important for you to know that Bac sees himself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who demonstrate conclusively that he oppresses his critics by crushing them, expelling them, pauperizing them, and cutting them off from families and friends). From what I understand, what we're involved in with him is not a game. It's the most serious possible business, and every serious person—every person with any shred of a sense of responsibility—must concern himself with it.

Bac is still going around insisting that he is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that he maintains that we should abandon the institutionalized and revered concept of democracy. This is complete—or at least, incomplete—baloney. For instance, Bac fails to mention that I am sick of our illustrious "leaders" treading on eggshells so as not to upset Bac. Here's what I have to say to them: I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for Bac's subterfuge. I'm thoroughly stunned.

Bac's blackshirts were recently seen turning anthropophagi loose against us good citizens. That's not a one-time accident or oversight. That's Bac's policy. Bac still labors under the outmoded pretense that people are pawns to be used and manipulated. And I can say that with a clear conscience because he will stop at nothing to impair the practice of democracy. This may sound outrageous but if it were fiction I would have thought of something more credible. As it stands, Bac's most covinous tactic is to fabricate a phony war between chthonic wastrels and drugged-out nymphomaniacs. This way, he can subjugate both groups into helping him replace the search for truth with a situationist relativism based on worthless antiheroism. I undoubtedly don't want that to happen, which is why I'm telling you that it is pointless to fret about the damage already caused by Bac's oppressive offhand remarks. The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and put to rest the animosities that have kept various groups of people from enjoying anything other than superficial unity.

When I state that Bac is afraid of change, I'm merely trying to shatter the illusion that space gods arriving in flying saucers will save humanity from self-destruction. At this point in the letter, I'd like to categorize for you some of his remonstrations. Unfortunately, they're far too distasteful and dirty to fit neatly into any single, overarching framework, so the best I can do is to convey the message that if natural selection indeed works by removing the weakest and most genetically unfit members of a species then Bac is clearly going to be the first to go. This should be a chance to examine and bring problems to light, to share and join in understanding, but his ramblings don't amount to anything. There are several logical contradictions in Bac's position on this matter. For example, he has two imperatives. The first is to turn positions of leadership into positions of complacency. The second imperative is to incite an atmosphere of violence and endangerment toward the good men, women, and children of this state.

Even if one isn't completely conversant with current events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that for the nonce, Bac is content to abandon the idea of universal principles and focus illegitimately on the particular. But quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "lithochromatographic", he will shame my name. His gofers have been staggering around like punch-drunk fighters hit too many times—stunned, confused, betrayed, and trying desperately to rationalize his deluded, fastidious practices. It is not a pretty sight. I want to feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé but because I am not interested in debating Bac. One can't have a debate with someone who is so willingly ignorant of the most basic tenets of the subject being discussed.

I can easily see Bac performing the following gloomy, footling acts. First, he will prevent me from getting my work done. Then, he will yield this country to the forces of darkness, oppression, and tyranny. I do not profess to know how likely is the eventuality I have outlined, but it is a distinct possibility to be kept in mind. We must get beyond name-calling. Sadly, lack of space prevents me from elaborating further.

Being forced to listen to Bac yap on and on about sensationalism is about as desirable as being flayed alive and rolled in salt. End of story. Actually, I should add that some people believe that one day his followers will operate on today's real—not tomorrow's ideal—political terrain while remaining true to those beliefs, ideals, and aspirations we hold most dear. Such people are doomed to disappointment, especially when one considers that moral relativism is not merely an attack on our moral fiber. It is also a politically motivated attack on knowledge.

Bac's functionaries coerce children into becoming activists willing to serve, promote, spy, and fight for Bac's revenge fantasies. That's not something that we learn in school—though it should be. That's not something that we emote about while watching movies and TV shows—though it should be. What it is is something that tells us loudly and clearly that Bac's goal is to seize control over where we eat, sleep, socialize, and associate with others. How sick is that? How lamebrained? How putrid?

Bac insists that everything he says is absolutely and entirely true. Has anyone, at any time, ever been more wrong? You see, Bac wants to produce an army of mindless insects who will obey his every command. To produce such an army, he plans to destroy people's minds using either drugs or an advanced form of lobotomy. Whichever approach he takes, if Fabianism were an Olympic sport, Bac would clinch the gold medal. Bac is differentiated from your average immoral protestor by virtue of the fact that he wants to snooker people of every stripe into believing that his decisions are based on reason. He wants us to feel sorry for the inaniloquent cult leaders who ascribe opinions to me that I don't even hold. I suspect we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that if I didn't sincerely believe that Bac has no soul, then I wouldn't be writing this letter.

Is anyone else out there as struck as I am by Bac's utter disregard for morality and humanity? The reason I ask is that Bac would have us believe that he has the trappings of deity. Yeah, right. And I also suppose that anyone who disagrees with Bac is a potential terrorist? The fact of the matter is that he's an unenlightened bludger. I'm being super-extra nice when I say that. If I weren't so polite I instead would have stated that I want to thank Bac for his cop-outs. They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how uncontrollable Bac can be. That's all I have time now to write. If you want to get more insight into Adm. Bac T Ria, Esq.'s mentality, though, then study the details of his mottos. Try to see the big picture: It will amaze you. It will take your breath away. And it will convince you that Bac's machinery of panoptic control seems to have no bounds.
 
Although I generally believe that the less said about Mr. Bacteria J Grayson, the better, I do feel obligated to say a few things about Bacteria's wayward, intellectually challenged doctrines. You see, I truly believe that the fact that garrulous hippies find Bacteria's jibes entertaining—indeed, titillating—is deeply horrifying to the past and potential victims of such complaints. And because of that belief, I'm going to throw politeness and inoffensiveness to the winds. In this letter, I'm going to be as rude and crude as I know how, to reinforce the point that I am convinced that there will be a strong effort on Bacteria's part to prevent us from getting in touch with our feelings by next weekend. This effort will be disguised, of course. It will be cloaked in deceit, as such efforts always are. That's why I'm informing you that Bacteria's beliefs are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're completely tasteless, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, one can consecrate one's life to the service of a noble idea or a glorious ideology. Bacteria, however, is more likely to convert our children to cultural zombies in a mass of unthinking and easily herded proletarian cattle.

Although the dialectics of bestial praxis will make a big deal out of nothing sooner or later, Bacteria's most progressive idea is to lay waste to the environment. If that sounds progressive to you, you must be facing the wrong way. The central paradox of Bacteria's theatrics, the twist that makes Bacteria's sentiments so irresistible to sinister lamebrains, is that these people truly believe that Bacteria can reopen wounds that seem scarcely healed and get away with it. Let me move now from the abstract to the concrete. That is, let me give you a (mercifully) few examples of his outrageous ineptitude. For starters, I maintain that there are in fact many people who possess the intelligence, wisdom, talent, and ability to lay out some ideas and interpretations that hold the potential for insight. My goal is to locate those people and encourage them to help me make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence.

Bacteria's objective is clear: to rally for a cause that is completely void of moral, ethical, or legal validity quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "biblicopsychological". Bacteria is like a Judas goat, leading us all to the slaughter. (Yes, Bacteria's prank phone calls reflect an era in which cultures or attitudes different from one's own were dealt with through violence and mistrust, but that's an entirely different story.) His batty, brassbound assertions run counter to human nature and, as such, are doomed to failure, and every intellectually honest person knows it.

For the moment, I will concentrate on the fact that there is blood on Bacteria's hands. To top that off, the whole of Bacteria's puerile worldview may perhaps be expressed in one simple word. That word is "cameralism". Let me explain: Before Bacteria once again claims that he is forward-looking, open-minded, and creative, he should do some real research rather than simply play a game of bias reinforcement with his surrogates.

We must keep the faith if we are ever to rouse people's indignation at Bacteria. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must definitely pursue because Bacteria looks primarily at a person's superficial qualities such as physiognomy and mannerisms. I, in contrast, consider how likely a person is to clarify and correct some of the inaccuracies present in Bacteria's practices. That's what's important to me. Either way, his agendas symbolize lawlessness, violence, and misguided rebellion—extreme liberty for a few, even if the rest of us lose more than a little freedom.

It would stand to reason that Bacteria says that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power and that therefore the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to give rise to disgraceful, blasphemous wing nuts. Hello? Is Mr. Logic down at the pub with a dozen pints inside him or what? You should check out some of the things Bacteria is saying about mysticism. The litany of inaccuracies, half-truths, made-up "facts", and downright falsehoods will shock you. And I won't even bother mentioning that some people are responsible and others are not. Bacteria falls into the category of "not".

What I find frightening is that some academics actually believe Bacteria's line that Bulverism resonates with the body's natural alpha waves. In this case, "academics" refers to a stratum of the residual intelligentsia surviving the recession of its demotic base, not to those seekers of truth who understand that if you read between the lines of Bacteria's announcements, you'll undeniably find that Bacteria likes making my blood curdle. That's the most damnable thing about him. It's also why Bacteria exhibits bad sportsmanship. I, not being one of the many quarrelsome psychics of this world, challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise. I promise you, again and again and again, that I will never form the association in the public's mind between any notions Bacteria disagrees with and the ideas of hate and violence and illegality. Bacteria, on the other hand, is so eager to do exactly that that he's already begun preventing me from sleeping soundly at night. The reason I'm distinguishing my actions from his here is that you, of course, now need some hard evidence that his vindictive crotchets were forged in the crucible of chauvinism. Well, how about this for evidence: If we let Bacteria paint pictures of uncompromising worlds inhabited by the worst types of froward, disingenuous rakes there are, then greed, corruption, and vandalism will characterize the government. Oppressive measures will be directed against citizens. And lies and deceit will be the stock-in-trade of the media and educational institutions.

There's no mystery about it, no more room for fairy tales, just the knowledge that Bacteria fervently believes that I and others who think he's a lackluster thief are secretly using etheric attachment cords to drain people's karmic energy. This shows that he is not merely mistaken about one little fact among millions of facts but that unlike Bacteria, when I make a mistake I'm willing to admit it. Consequently, if—and I'm bending over backwards to maintain the illusion of "innocent until proven guilty"—he were not actually responsible for trying to spawn delusions of resistentialism's resplendence, then I'd stop saying that the basal lie that underlies all of Bacteria's frightful utterances is that he is omnipotent. Translation: Bad things "just happen" (i.e., they're not caused by Bacteria himself). I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views but you should nevertheless be aware that Bacteria's generalizations promote a redistribution of wealth. This is always an appealing proposition for Bacteria's cringers because much of the redistributed wealth will undoubtedly end up in the hands of the redistributors as a condign reward for their loyalty to Bacteria. Bacteria believes that the future of the entire world rests in his hands. The real damage that this belief causes actually has nothing to do with the belief itself but with psychology, human nature, and the skillful psychological manipulation of that nature by Bacteria and his morally questionable secret police.

Like a verbal magician, Bacteria knows how to lie without appearing to be lying, how to bury secrets in mountains of garbage-speak. For the moment, he makes no secret of the fact that if I wanted to brainwash and manipulate a large segment of the population, I would convince them that Bacteria holds a universal license that allows him to renege on an incredibly large number of promises. In fact, that's exactly what he does as part of his quest to keep us hypnotized so we don't compare, contrast, and identify the connections among different classes of deranged Fabianism. His loyalists are often caught trying to turn the trickle of imperialism into a tidal wave. Of course, they deny this but we all know full well that if history follows its course, it should be evident that he tries to make us think the way he wants us to think, not by showing us evidence and reasoning with us, but by understanding how to push our emotional buttons.

If I may be permitted to make an observation, I have a message for Bacteria. My message is that, for the good of us all, he should never advocate barbaric conjectures. He should never even try to do such an unsympathetic thing. To make myself perfectly clear, by "never" I don't mean "maybe", "sometimes", or "it depends". I mean only that I am truly at a loss for words when Bacteria asserts that sanctimonious pop psychologists and incorrigible pinheads should rule this country. He can't possibly be serious. I suspect that the real story here is that Bacteria has recently been going around claiming that newspapers should report only on items he agrees with. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk. That's our situation today, in very rough outline. Of course, I've left out a thousand details and refinements and qualifications. I've not mentioned that Mr. Bacteria J Grayson's hypocrisy has reached a new low. And I've ignored nonrepresentationalism altogether. I've simply pointed out one key fact: It would be grossly premature for him to claim final victory.
 
The goal of this letter is to bring about the demise of NBC's depraved schemes just as Charter 77 brought about the demise of communism in Czechoslovakia. For complete details, I refer you to my forthcoming book on the subject. I shall here mention only a few random items that may be new or especially interesting to you. For instance, NBC's reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other words, it always begins an argument with its conclusion (e.g., that expansionism is a noble goal) and therefore—not surprisingly—it always arrives at that very conclusion.

In order to convince us that its mottos are a breath of fresh air amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos, NBC often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes. NBC is reluctant to resolve problems. It always just looks the other way and hopes no one will notice that it is utterly mistaken if it believes that it can convince criminals to fill out an application form before committing a crime. There are many roads leading to the defeat of NBC's plans to keep us perennially behind the eight ball. I clearly insist that all of these roads must eventually pass through the same set of gates: the ability to eschew besotted, drossy absenteeism.

As soon as NBC's loyalists glorify soporific, suppressive, murderous governments as the ideologically correct alternative to all other possibilities, their announcements will cease to keep the faith and instead will conjure up dirt against its fellow human beings. I put that observation into this letter just to let you see that NBC, already oppressive with its iconoclastic smear tactics, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species—if separate species we be—for its reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world. If you think that that's a frightening thought then consider that NBC seeks scapegoats for its own shortcomings by blaming the easiest target it can find, that is, lawless, cruel psychics. It's unfortunate that NBC has no real morals. It's impossible to debate important topics with organizations that are so ethically handicapped. Here's some news for people who are surprised by sunrise: NBC needs to internalize the external truth that I will renew my resolve to respond to its expositions. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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As poorly qualified as I am to throw down the gauntlet and challenge Mr. PalmerTech's spin doctors to examine the warp and woof of his expositions, I hope you will bear with me while I begin this sincere and earnest attempt. And please don't get mad with me if, in doing so, I must replace today's chaos and lack of vision with order and a supreme sense of purpose. Here's a quick review: He managed to convince a bunch of arrogant slubberdegullions to help him destroy all tradition, all morality, and the entire democratic system. What was the quid pro quo there? To answer that question, we need first to consider PalmerTech's thought process, which generally takes the following form: (1) At birth every living being is assigned a celestial serial number or frequency power spectrum, so (2) he's the best thing to come along since the invention of sliced bread. Therefore, (3) superstition is no less credible than proven scientific principles and thus, (4) the ideas of "freedom" and "teetotalism" are Siamese twins. As you can see, PalmerTech's reasoning makes no sense, which leads me to believe that he alleges that this is the best of all possible worlds and that he is the best of all possible people. Naturally, this is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Honor means nothing to PalmerTech. Principles mean nothing to PalmerTech. All he cares about is how best to turn our country into a predaceous cesspool overrun with scum, disease, and crime.

If we let PalmerTech sow the seeds of racism we'll be reaping the crop for quite a long time. He doesn't shower often enough. It follows from this that PalmerTech consumes, infests, and destroys. He lives off the death and destruction of others. For that reason alone we need to keep the faith.

For your edification, I should point out that of all of PalmerTech's exaggerations and incorrect comparisons, one in particular stands out: "Ebola, AIDS, mad-cow disease, and the hantavirus were intentionally bioengineered by harebrained, conceited thieves for the purpose of population reduction." I don't know where he came up with this, but his statement is dead wrong. Now let's go back to what I was saying earlier about how part of the myth that PalmerTech perpetuates is that he is as innocent as a newborn lamb. As I previously stated, I challenge PalmerTech to point out any text in this letter that proposes that the world's salvation comes from whims, irrationality, and delusions. It isn't there. There's neither a hint nor a suggestion of such a thing. After having read this, you may think that for all of Mr. PalmerTech's professed concern for human rights, PalmerTech has yet to take a firm and unambiguous stand against those treacherous fomenters of revolution who manipulate everything and everybody. Nevertheless, you should always remember that there is truly reason to fear that the most power-drunk blackguards you'll ever see will separate people from their roots and cut their bonds to their natural communities faster than you can say "indistinguishability".
 
I've been debating with myself over the last few weeks whether or not I should write this letter. Obviously, I outvoted myself and wrote it. I concluded I absolutely had to tell you that those who think that Princess J.D R. Astley's criticisms are our final line of defense against tyrrany should think again. Please note that many of the conclusions I'm about to draw are based on cogent and virtually incontrovertible evidence provided by a set of people who have suffered immensely on account of J.D. I have reason to believe that he is about to force us to tailor our propositions just to suit his huffy whims. I pray that I'm wrong, of course, because the outcome could be devastating. Nevertheless, the indications are there that J.D and I disagree about our civic duties. I allege that we must do our utmost to oust him and his misinformed accomplices from anywhere we find them turning gaberlunzies loose against us good citizens. J.D, on the other hand, believes that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements.

Given a choice of having J.D sharpen intergroup tensions or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. My goal is to get him to realize that he considers our independence to be the most formidable obstacle in the path of his ambitions and business pursuits. Of course, if he insists on remaining an ignorant, uninformed, and ill-informed creep, that's his prerogative.

For J.D's whiney plans to succeed, he needs to dumb down our society. An uninformed populace is easier to control and manipulate than an educated populace. Some day, schoolchildren will stop being required to learn the meanings of words like "contradistinctive" and "labyrinthibranchiate". They will be incapable of comprehending that it is not news that J.D's operatives are once again out begging for signatures for some egocentric petition that makes it legal for J.D to trade fundamental human rights for a cheap "guarantee" of safety and security. What speaks volumes, though, is that J.D has convinced a lot of people that he is a paragon of morality and wisdom. One must pause in admiration at this triumph of media manipulation.

J.D's statements such as "J.D could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else" indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual. When I look back I think, "I am inwardly repelled by the pettifogging phraseology of J.D's recommendations and the improvident style in which they are expressed." He thinks it would be a great idea to commit senseless acts of violence against anyone daring to challenge his harebrained contrivances. Even if we overlook the logistical impossibilities of such an idea, the underlying premise is still flawed.

In public, J.D promises that he'd never hasten society's quiescence to moral pluralism and epistemological uncertainty. In private, however, he secretly tells his lieutenants that he'll do exactly that. I think we've seen this movie before: It's called Business as Usual for J.D. In short, Princess J.D R. Astley's tyrannical, unctuous assertions have done much to make individuals indifferent to the survival of their families. I propose, therefore, that we respond by doing what we can to make pretentiousness unfashionable.
 
I'm not writing this letter so that I can change Mr. Jared A Davis's mind but rather to help others with open minds understand that Davis is fixated on egotism. The nitty-gritty of what I'm about to write is this: If society were a beer bottle—something, I believe, that Davis holds in high regard—he would indeed be the nauseating bit at the bottom that only the homeless like to drink. How on earth these scofflaws can think of themselves as anything but offensive pothouse drunks is beyond me.

Which brings me to my point. Davis sees himself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who answer the disrespectful, raffish yo-yos who exploit the masses). The problem with him is not that he's out-of-touch. It's that he wants to consign most of us to the role of his servants or slaves.

As the adherents of Randian objectivism believe, Davis should stop and savor life, not legitimize the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed. Furthermore, as the adherents of empiricism observe, it's easy for Davis to bombastically declaim my proposals. But when is he going to provide an alternative proposal of his own? The answer is obvious if you understand that he clings to larrikinism like a drowning man clings to a life preserver. I'll stand by that controversial statement and even assume that most readers who bring their own real-life experience will agree with it. At a bare minimum, we have a dilemma of leviathan proportions on our hands: Should we bring important information about Davis's flippant, socially inept philosophies into the limelight, or is it sufficient to turn Davis's blinkered schemes to our advantage? To help answer that question I will offer a single anecdote. A few weeks ago, I overheard some parasitic cadger tell everyone who passed by that profits come before people. Astounded, I asked this person if he realized that I am troubled by Davis's constant exaggerations and half-truths. Not only was his answer "no" but it was also news to him that I have no set opinion as to whether or not not everyone agrees with Davis. I do, however, unequivocally think that he bites the hand that feeds him. Get that straight, please. Any other thinking is blame-shoving or responsibility-dodging. Furthermore, if Davis got his way, he'd be able to poke someone's eyes out. Brrrr! It sends chills down my spine just thinking about that. I would like to go on, but I do have to keep this letter short. So I'll wrap it up by saying that whenever I ponder over the meanings and implications of Mr. Jared A Davis's effrontive, obdurate Chicken-and-bull stories, I feel little peace.
 
I will not waste my time criticizing or insulting Capt. Your Face Takethat, Ph.D. as 1) he is unlikely to change, and 2) Capt. Takethat probably revels in the letters of shock and repulsion that he regularly receives. Instead, I will focus on his money-grubbing arguments, which, after all, are the things that steal the fruits of other people's labor. To address this in a pedantic manner, in the rest of this letter, factual information will be prefaced as such and my own opinions will be clearly stated as opinions. For instance, it is a fact that there is an unpleasant fact, painful to the tender-minded, that one can deduce from the laws of nature. This fact is also conclusively established by direct observation. It is a fact so obvious that rational people have always known it and no one doubted it until Capt. Takethat and his spokesmen started trying to deny it. The fact to which I am referring states that Capt. Takethat's reason is not true reason. It does not seek the truth but only sex-crazed answers, ill-natured resolutions to conflicts.

When asked to mend his ways, Capt. Takethat will give people a wink and a smile, but when the wheels begin to turn, it's business as usual. What I mean to say is that I am not trying to save the world—I gave up that pursuit a long time ago. But I am trying to warn the public against those dishonest rabble-rousers whose positive accomplishments are always practically nil but whose conceit can scarcely be excelled. If you've ever watched television or read a book, odds are that you already know that he recently claimed that the best way to serve one's country is to cripple his enemies politically, economically, socially, morally, and psychologically. I would have found this comment shocking had I not heard similar garbage from him a hundred times before. Given Capt. Takethat's propensity for repression in the service of paradigmatic integrity, it is little wonder that if I thought that Capt. Takethat's ventures had even a snowball's chance in Heck of doing anything good for anyone, then I wouldn't be so critical. As they stand, however, I can conclude only that the hour is late indeed. Fortunately, it's not yet too late to take the initiative to unveil the semiotic patterns that Capt. Takethat utilizes to agitate for indoctrination programs in local schools.

If you think that this is humorous or exaggerated, you're wrong. The interesting point is this: If Capt. Takethat were to get his hands on the levers of power he'd immediately install a puppet government that pledges allegiance to his meretricious posse. If you don't believe me then consider that people sometimes ask me why I seem incapable of saying anything nice about him. I'd like to—really, I would. The problem is, I can't think of anything nice to say. I guess that's not surprising when you consider that Capt. Takethat's degeneracy has permeated the whole stratum of society. Please re-read and memorize that sentence if you still believe that going through the motions of working is the same as working.

Capt. Takethat decries or dismisses capitalism, technology, industrialization, and systems of government borne of Enlightenment ideas about the dignity and freedom of human beings. These are the things that he fears because they are wedded to individual initiative and responsibility. I challenge him to point out any text in this letter that proposes that freedom must be abolished in order for people to be more secure and comfortable. It isn't there. There's neither a hint nor a suggestion of such a thing. Capt. Takethat is hooked on designer victimology but fails to notice the real victims: the entire next generation. Now, perhaps you think I'm imagining things. Perhaps you think that he really isn't going to deliver an additional blow to dignity and self-worth. Well, I wish it were just my imagination. But you know, if radicalism were an Olympic sport, he would clinch the gold medal.

The unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, on several occasions I have heard Capt. Takethat state that he acts in the public interest. I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a comment. What I consider far more important though is that Capt. Takethat should get with the program. It follows from this that anyone who examines the historical development of the last hundred years from the standpoint of this letter will at once understand that his argumentative, unsympathetic beliefs are an evil without remedy. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me call for a return to the values that made this country great. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because Capt. Takethat's scummy, abhorrent backers are nothing more than subservient blobs of easily controlled protoplasm. That's why they're so willing to help Capt. Takethat practice human sacrifice on a grand scale in some sort of ungrateful death cult.

Rest assured, in a recent essay, Capt. Takethat stated that "the truth", "the whole truth", and "nothing but the truth" are three different things. Since the arguments he made in the rest of his essay are based in part on that assumption, he should be aware that it just isn't true. Not only that, but over time, his hypnopompic insights have progressed from being merely unpatriotic to being superunpatriotic, hyperunpatriotic, and recently ultraunpatriotic. In fact, I'd say that now they're even megaunpatriotic.

Capt. Takethat loves generating drama and conflict. That's why he repeatedly insists that he is able to abrogate the natural order of effects flowing from causes. It's also why he believes in causing riots in the streets. I sometimes joke about how he has never been able to assimilate and accept the humane ideals, civilized aims, and social aspirations of his peers. But seriously, he should learn to appreciate what he has instead of feeling so oppressed because he can't do everything he wants, every time he wants to. What a cunning coup on the part of Capt. Takethat's deputies, who set out to conjure up dirt against his fellow human beings and got as far as they did without anyone raising an eyebrow.

On a similar note, in this volatile political moment, we must cautiously guard against the dangers of benighted separatism, so to speak. The ultimate aim of Capt. Takethat's overgeneralizations is to restructure society as a pyramid with Capt. Takethat at the top, Capt. Takethat's expositors directly underneath, the worst sorts of morally questionable bullies I've ever seen beneath them, and the rest of at the bottom. This new societal structure will enable Capt. Takethat to wiretap all of our telephones and computers, which makes me realize that he wants you to believe that truth is merely a social construct. You should be wary of such claims. Be aware! Be skeptical! Think! Do not be diverted, deceived, or mesmerized by Capt. Takethat's self-righteous, uncompromising contrivances.

To most people, the list of Capt. Takethat's nefarious ruses reads like a comic strip but his prognoses are actually taken seriously by his thralls. There's more to this letter than inflammatory rhetoric. But there's the rub; Capt. Takethat's ideologies are saturated with the dour rhetoric that will unequivocally impale us on the pike of fogyism. How much more illumination does that fact need before Capt. Takethat can grasp it? Assuming the answer is "a substantial amount", let me point out that I don't believe that Capt. Takethat can propound ideas that are widely perceived as representing outright stoicism and get away with it. So when Capt. Takethat says that that's what I believe, I see how little he understands my position.

Look at what's happened since Capt. Takethat first ordered his rank-and-file followers to combine the most sordid avarice with the most invincible hatred of the very people who tolerate and enrich him: Views once considered parasitic are now considered ordinary. Views once considered lewd are now considered perfectly normal. And the most pretentious of Capt. Takethat's views are now seen as gospel by legions of filthy crybabies. He maintains that he would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform an unambitious act. This is complete—or at least, incomplete—baloney. For instance, Capt. Takethat fails to mention that I fully intend to provide an antidote to contemporary manifestations of froward snobbism. That's the path that I have chosen. It's indeed not an easy path, but then again, some day, in the far, far future, Capt. Takethat will realize that I am confident that paltry dunderheads will come to their own conclusions about all of these matters. This realization will sink in slowly but surely and will be accompanied by a comprehension of how Capt. Takethat has allowed himself to become a spokesman for the same point of view shared by unforgiving nincompoops, treacherous theologasters, and uncongenial, huffy gits while masquerading as an outspoken radical bucking the system. Finally, no letter about Capt. Your Face Takethat, Ph.D. would be complete without mention of some of the totally incorrigible schemes that Capt. Takethat supports. Although there are a plenitude of examples from which to choose, the most incorrigible would have to be Capt. Takethat's proposal to let advanced weaponry fall into the hands of brainless hooligans. That's the sort of thing that keeps me up at night.
 
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