Tchay
Frequent Poster
HOLLYWOOD RANKING SYSTEM
Thinker
You have officially spent more than 5 minutes thinking about this. You’re pretty serious about it now. Your friends are giving you funny looks, and your parents are worried about your plans for college. Yes, you want to become an actor.
Theater Groupie
You’ve spent some time writing down all the mediocre plays you did in elementary school. Maybe you’ve done a couple in high school. Its pitiful. And you have your eyes set on the big screen.
Wannabe
Congratulations! You are officially a wannabe actor. By this point you have managed to construct an acting resume. Its nothing short of pathetic. It wasn’t easy, but you finally got some headshots in the right format. They look terrible.
Nobody
Well you don’t exist. Not yet. By this point, you have made the move to Los Angeles. Be it, the Hollywood area, K-town, china-town, or some dumpster; you got here. You’ve even gone on some auditions. All of which went so badly that you didn’t even tell your closest sibling about it.
Background Junky
You heard background work was a good way to get into acting (complete lie). You are so nervous before your first job as an extra that you almost piss yourself. 3 months later, you realize how insignificant background work really is. You continue to audition for useless crap. Even booked a couple gigs. The ones that pay nothing and cost you time and money.
Class Groupie
Lets face it. You are a nervous wreck. You MIGHT be a good actor, but that stuttering tongue isn’t going to get you any decent parts. You’ve become a regular acting class go-er. You feel more confident in your abilities and have gotten some decent headshots. Just decent though. You have a couple agent showcases coming up. Maybe you won’t piss yourself this time.
Table Scrap
Congratulations! You got signed by an agent! Be it theatrical or commercial rep. You are now the gum that the agent scrapes off of his shoe on his way to work. You have gotten some really nice auditions, but your agent is waiting to see what you do. You have a couple months to show them what your made of before they throw you to the curb. Better not screw it up!
Noob
Okay! You booked your first legitimate credit (90% of your resume was BS). Sure, it wasn’t a speaking role, and it was one of the smallest parts of the spot, but it pays well and, more importantly, you’ve gotten your agent’s attention. Now you get 2-3 auditions a week! You are also thinking about taking more expensive acting classes. You are officially an acting noob.
Talent
You’re not a nobody anymore. You are a “talent.” It says so on the callsheet that was just emailed to you. You’ve booked a couple more gigs. All relatively small and a couple weeks apart. You’ve made enough money that you decided to get some sick headshots. Sick and edgy.
Working Actor
Congratulations!! You are now a working actor. You book jobs regularly and almost always have something going on. Random people on the streets will recognize you. Casting directors are beginning to request you for roles. You even gave one of them a high-five at an audition the other day. Your confidence is soaring and, in turn, so is your acting ability.
Media Junky
You have made a name for yourself. You are beginning to pop up in Disney magazines and the occasional billboard. Even sneaking into “People” now and then. Red carpets feel more comfortable than your own bed. Some casting directors have started calling you directly, and you had some close calls on some breakout roles. One of these days…
Breakout Actor
You did it. After several years of hard work, you finally booked a HUGE role. Sure it took like 4 callbacks, 2 screentests, and several contract negotiations, but it was worth it. This is your role; it identifies you; it makes you a standalone actor. Oh, and it pays a ridiculous amount of money.
Celebrity
It was bound to happen. You knew it would and tried to prepare. You are officially a celebrity. You have come up with some clever disguises to hide yourself (all of which failed miserably). And you now pay people to go shopping for you, as you are afraid to go out in public. Your family and relatives are filthy rich, thanks to you. And most of Uganda seems to be doing better thanks to your regular 6 figure donations. You also invest in science. It’s a big deal, and you would like to have home on the moon some day.
You tried speaking at a few acting seminars, but can’t go anymore after that last incident (hormonal teenage girls are dangerous!).
All in all, you’ve made it. Never finished college (although you technically have 3 credits of your major completed). Your dreams came true. You’re legit. You get made fun of on Family Guy and The Simpsons regularly. Now you keep trying to reinvent yourself in new movies; although, none will ever live up to that amazing breakout role way back when. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the happiness money can buy.
Thinker
You have officially spent more than 5 minutes thinking about this. You’re pretty serious about it now. Your friends are giving you funny looks, and your parents are worried about your plans for college. Yes, you want to become an actor.
Theater Groupie
You’ve spent some time writing down all the mediocre plays you did in elementary school. Maybe you’ve done a couple in high school. Its pitiful. And you have your eyes set on the big screen.
Wannabe
Congratulations! You are officially a wannabe actor. By this point you have managed to construct an acting resume. Its nothing short of pathetic. It wasn’t easy, but you finally got some headshots in the right format. They look terrible.
Nobody
Well you don’t exist. Not yet. By this point, you have made the move to Los Angeles. Be it, the Hollywood area, K-town, china-town, or some dumpster; you got here. You’ve even gone on some auditions. All of which went so badly that you didn’t even tell your closest sibling about it.
Background Junky
You heard background work was a good way to get into acting (complete lie). You are so nervous before your first job as an extra that you almost piss yourself. 3 months later, you realize how insignificant background work really is. You continue to audition for useless crap. Even booked a couple gigs. The ones that pay nothing and cost you time and money.
Class Groupie
Lets face it. You are a nervous wreck. You MIGHT be a good actor, but that stuttering tongue isn’t going to get you any decent parts. You’ve become a regular acting class go-er. You feel more confident in your abilities and have gotten some decent headshots. Just decent though. You have a couple agent showcases coming up. Maybe you won’t piss yourself this time.
Table Scrap
Congratulations! You got signed by an agent! Be it theatrical or commercial rep. You are now the gum that the agent scrapes off of his shoe on his way to work. You have gotten some really nice auditions, but your agent is waiting to see what you do. You have a couple months to show them what your made of before they throw you to the curb. Better not screw it up!
Noob
Okay! You booked your first legitimate credit (90% of your resume was BS). Sure, it wasn’t a speaking role, and it was one of the smallest parts of the spot, but it pays well and, more importantly, you’ve gotten your agent’s attention. Now you get 2-3 auditions a week! You are also thinking about taking more expensive acting classes. You are officially an acting noob.
Talent
You’re not a nobody anymore. You are a “talent.” It says so on the callsheet that was just emailed to you. You’ve booked a couple more gigs. All relatively small and a couple weeks apart. You’ve made enough money that you decided to get some sick headshots. Sick and edgy.
Working Actor
Congratulations!! You are now a working actor. You book jobs regularly and almost always have something going on. Random people on the streets will recognize you. Casting directors are beginning to request you for roles. You even gave one of them a high-five at an audition the other day. Your confidence is soaring and, in turn, so is your acting ability.
Media Junky
You have made a name for yourself. You are beginning to pop up in Disney magazines and the occasional billboard. Even sneaking into “People” now and then. Red carpets feel more comfortable than your own bed. Some casting directors have started calling you directly, and you had some close calls on some breakout roles. One of these days…
Breakout Actor
You did it. After several years of hard work, you finally booked a HUGE role. Sure it took like 4 callbacks, 2 screentests, and several contract negotiations, but it was worth it. This is your role; it identifies you; it makes you a standalone actor. Oh, and it pays a ridiculous amount of money.
Celebrity
It was bound to happen. You knew it would and tried to prepare. You are officially a celebrity. You have come up with some clever disguises to hide yourself (all of which failed miserably). And you now pay people to go shopping for you, as you are afraid to go out in public. Your family and relatives are filthy rich, thanks to you. And most of Uganda seems to be doing better thanks to your regular 6 figure donations. You also invest in science. It’s a big deal, and you would like to have home on the moon some day.
You tried speaking at a few acting seminars, but can’t go anymore after that last incident (hormonal teenage girls are dangerous!).
All in all, you’ve made it. Never finished college (although you technically have 3 credits of your major completed). Your dreams came true. You’re legit. You get made fun of on Family Guy and The Simpsons regularly. Now you keep trying to reinvent yourself in new movies; although, none will ever live up to that amazing breakout role way back when. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the happiness money can buy.
