ShockSlayer's Guide to "the Junkyard" Success! (NSFW)

[ShockSlayer]

Here's a topic about international shipping, I suggest you read it!
ShockSlayer's Guide to "the Junkyard" Success!
The following is written angrily with heavy language.
If you aren't cool with that: Skip to the clean version at the bottom, the one in forum quotes!

Like this!

By the way: I have many years of experience doing business online, on forums, over youtube, in person, etc. People say I'm really *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing good at it. I'm sure I could have some people vouch for me, but right now, take my post count, joined date, and signature full of projects for it.

Hey!

Success in the Junkyard is incredibly *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing easy, Segaes. Read up.

SELLING:

You new to the forums and want to sell flax here? Read this whole *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing post twice first before even making a thread.
You been around here for awhile but never done business yet? Read this whole *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing post twice first before even making a thread.

Reputation:
Make it known in the first sentence of your post that you have no rep. Although people should check first, sometimes they forget.
If people buy from you? Great! Now's your chance to start building good rep!
If they don't because of your lack of rep? Great! They aren't completely stupid, and they're right not to trust you!
Low post count? No finished projects? People probably aren't going to trust you.

Pictures:
Aaaanywways. Selling stuff? You need to post pictures. Good pictures. Clear, well lit, focused pictures. Multiple pictures too!
Good, clear pictures are the #1 indicator of a good seller.
If people have to ask you if you took your pictures with a toaster, chances are you should turn off and unplug your computer.

Descriptions:
Next? Descriptions! Write a novel for each item you are selling.
Fail to describe something accurately to someone?
You might as well be lying to them.
If something you are selling has defects, problems, etc? SAY SO. Pictures are good for this, you get to type less if you take good pictures.
If somethings in immaculate condition? SAY SO. It'll help you sell it!

Prices:
Prices. You should put prices. Be reasonable. Check ebay and the likes for reference. If you don't like someone's offer, you don't have to *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing take it. If they are lowballing and being a stupid *Can'tSayThisOnTV*, chances are someone else will call them on it. The #1 sure-fire way to ruin rep and lose all potential sales is to argue like a stupid jackass in a thread.
Makes you look bad, makes people mad, and at the end of the day you get nothing.

Note:
Guess what! We are now at the most critical part of the guide!
Someone actually buys something from you!
OH BOY OH BOY THEY SENT PAYMENT I CANT WAIT TO SPEND IT ALL ON STUPID BULLflax

Hold it *Can'tSayThisOnTV*head. You actually have to *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing ship what they bought.
FIRST. Holy flax. Big *Can'tSayThisOnTV*in' rule: You have to ship what they paid for, before you spend the money on yourself!

GodDang. So many new 13 year old kids do this.
They get paid, and then they spend all but $5, and then they find out at the post office that they don't have enough money to ship the 15 pound box of stupid flax someone else paid them for. Now they can't ship, and whoever bought it doesn't get it till the dumb little *Can'tSayThisOnTV* gets more money.

Packing:
Anyways, packing. You need to pack whatever they bought in a box. Or an envelope. Or a plastic bag, *Can'tSayThisOnTV* I don't care. And you need to expect that package to get thrown around and stepped on.

Let's face it, the postal system you choose doesn't give two *Can'tSayThisOnTV*s about your flax. Neither does the delivery guy. Or the person who crashes into them. Or the other delivery guy from the other company who steps on your box and then puts your mother's new refrigerator on it.
Let's just hope that doesn't happen.
But we're gonna prepare for it anyways.

The other day, I got a small priority mail box from a guy, inside it was a delicate gamecube motherboard. *Can'tSayThisOnTV*in' box looked like it was, in fact, stepped on. My mobo works fine! How is this possible? The intelligent mofo that shipped me this anticipated the dumb*Can'tSayThisOnTV*ery of the postal system, and as such packed the gamecube covered in bubble wrap! How *Can'tSayThisOnTV*in' smart is that?

Anyways, pack your flax well, pack it tight. Use things! Wadded paper, walmart bags, packing peanuts, bubble wrap, old garfield comics, paper towels, etc.

Use a sturdy box. USPS gives out free priority boxes, you can get them for 100% free one. Not using USPS? Stupid cuFind some other box!

Print your labels! Use a printer, find a printer, steal a printer, etc. It's just smart. You can copy and paste that weird-ass address exactly as the stupid *Can'tSayThisOnTV* who gave it to you wrote it onto your package, and if it doesn't get there, then that's their problem. Really, it is. Format it for them if you want to. At the same time, printed labels are easier to read for the blind *Can'tSayThisOnTV*s that work at the local place, and they look professional. Clear tape over the labels, protects them from rain and flax and everything else they'll spill on your box. Also, tape the box shut. Mm'kay?

Shipping:
Ship as soon as the mother*Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing post office opens! You don't get any excuses, not one. You don't get those till you have a good *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing rep and everyone likes you, and even then, you only get one. After that, *Can'tSayThisOnTV* your flax.
Walk if you *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing have to.
If you don't have a drivers license, you should probably ask your parents before making a for-sale thread. Seriously. If you have no way to get to the post office or no one to rely on, don't *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing make a for-sale thread if you can't ship, godDang.
Anyways, when you get to the post office? Give the *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing homo behind the counter your box.
And when the "Flamboyant Homosexual" says, "Do you want delivery confirmation?"
You tell that brotha*Can'tSayThisOnTV*er, "YES."
They'll give you a paper. Guard it with your life.
It's like, 60 *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing cents, but 60+ rep. Tracking costs more and is better, you could do that too, and if your rep really *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing sucks, you probably should do that for everything.

Pay that Sega and get the *Can'tSayThisOnTV* out, do anything/act shady and they'll put you on the no-fly list for sure. Grab some priority mail boxes while you are there. They are free, and good for shipping. Heck, with the little ones you don't even need tape.

Then, when you get home from walking to the godDang post office if you *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing had to, you get on ModRetro ASA-*Can'tSayThisOnTV*IN-P and you PM whoever was dumb enough to buy from you the stupid number that you took 3 bullets for. You triple check that Sega when you are typing that Sega. You then copy paste it into the USPS site and see if it works. Does it? Allllll righty then. It will later, if not, keep checking.
You're basically done now. Keep contact with your buyer, make sure everything's okay, etc.

One thing you may want to mention though is that you can have USPS come to your house and pick up your package for free, if you can't get to the post office yourself.

BUYING:

You new to the forums and want to buy flax here? Read this whole *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing post twice first before even making a thread.
You been around here for awhile but never done business yet? Read this whole *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing post twice first before even making a thread.

Dealing:
Be careful who you deal with. It's just like in real life; you don't deal with the guy in the trench coat in the darkness of the alley between your favorite dentist's office and the pub next to it. Unless you are looking for drugs in which case you might want tJust don't. Also, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Post counts, finished projects, buyer/seller thread; all good indicators of "Should I trust this *Can'tSayThisOnTV* or not?"
Here's a tip, search their username on the forums! You'll probably find something.

Offering:
Be reasonable. If they've put up a price, work with it.
Check ebay.
If they are asking for $55 for a GBC game you can get for $5 on ebay, yeah, show them that, offer a little more because you are willing to help out a ModRetro bro.
If they don't want to part with it? It's not your *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing problem, get it on ebay. They get nothing, you get what you wanted in the first place. No big deal.
Also, offer in the thread first, then PM them once/if they accept the deal(or if they say "PM me")

Communication:
Communicate. Make sure everything is clear between you and them, nothing *Can'tSayThisOnTV*s up more flax than a lack of/unclear communication.
Use PM's, and check them often. The faster you communicate, the faster things get done, and the faster you'll get your flax, I promise.

Payment:
Use paypal. Get a paypal account. Just...just *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing get one.
It's better for everyone. It's fast, reliable, and if they *Can'tSayThisOnTV* you over, you can file a claim and *Can'tSayThisOnTV* up their flax AFTER YOU'VE PM'D THEM ABOUT IT. Send money that way, receive money that way. Sending money through the mail is stupid for only about a million *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing reasons.
And honestly? Using other methods is downright shady. So just don't. Avoid it. All the best members who have the best reps and get all the Segaes have Paypal, like it or not.

Receiving:
Get it, everything's good?
Let the buyer know if you received what you payed for, that way they can sleep at night.

If you payed a *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ton for something, video the unboxing. If everything's fine? It's good.
If your PS3 Laptop is broken in half? Well, *Can'tSayThisOnTV*. You have the proof that you didn't open the box and break it between your buttcheeks you handsome rouge. So, go through the processes, notify the other person via PM, work it out with them, hope they got insurance(oh, by the way, you should pay them the extra to have them get insurance if it's something important.) If they aren't responding, it's probably a scam, file a claim, etc.

---

And there you have it.

Hey!

Success in the Junkyard is incredibly easy. Read up.

SELLING:

You new to the forums and want to sell things here? Read this whole post twice before even making a thread.
You been around here for awhile but never done business yet? Read this whole post twice first before even making a thread.

Reputation:
Make it known in the first sentence of your post that you have no rep. Although people should check first, sometimes they forget.
If people buy from you? Great! Now's your chance to start building good rep!
If they don't because of your lack of rep? Great! They aren't completely stupid, and they're right not to trust you!
Low post count? No finished projects? People probably aren't going to trust you.

Pictures:
Aaaanywways. Selling stuff? You need to post pictures. Good pictures. Clear, well lit, focused pictures. Multiple pictures too!
Good, clear pictures are the #1 indicator of a good seller.
If people have to ask you if you took your pictures with a toaster, chances are you should turn off and unplug your computer.

Descriptions:
Next? Descriptions! Write a novel for each item you are selling.
Fail to describe something accurately to someone?
You might as well be lying to them.
If something you are selling has defects, problems, etc? SAY SO. Pictures are good for this, you get to type less if you take good pictures.
If somethings in immaculate condition? SAY SO. It'll help you sell it!

Prices:
Prices. You should put prices. Be reasonable. Check ebay and the likes for reference. If you don't like someone's offer, you don't have to take it. If they are lowballing and being stupid, chances are someone else will call them on it. The #1 sure-fire way to ruin rep and lose all potential sales is to argue like children in a thread.
Makes you look bad, makes people mad, and at the end of the day you get nothing.

Note:
Guess what! We are now at the most critical part of the guide!
Someone actually buys something from you!
OH BOY OH BOY THEY SENT PAYMENT I CANT WAIT TO SPEND IT ALL

Hold it. You actually have to ship what they bought.
FIRST. Big rule: You have to ship what they paid for, before you spend the money on yourself!

So many new 13 year old kids do this.
They get paid, and then they spend all but $5, and then they find out at the post office that they don't have enough money to ship the 15 pound box of stuff someone else paid them for. Now they can't ship, and whoever bought it doesn't get it till the kids gets more money.

Packing:
Anyways, packing. You need to pack whatever they bought in a box. Or an envelope. Or a plastic bag. And you need to expect that package to get thrown around and stepped on.

Let's face it, the postal system you choose doesn't care about your stuff. Neither does the delivery guy. Or the person who crashes into them. Or the other delivery guy from the other company who steps on your box and then puts your mother's new refrigerator on it.
Let's just hope that doesn't happen.
But we're gonna prepare for it anyways.

The other day, I got a small priority mail box from a guy, inside it was a delicate gamecube motherboard. The box looked like it was, in fact, stepped on. My mobo works fine! How is this possible? The intelligent man that shipped me this anticipated the silliness of the postal system, and as such packed the gamecube covered in bubble wrap! How smart is that?

Anyways, pack your stuff well, pack it tight. Use things! Wadded paper, walmart bags, packing peanuts, bubble wrap, old garfield comics, paper towels, etc.

Use a sturdy box. USPS gives out free priority boxes, you can get them for 100% free one. Not using USPS? Find some other box!

Print your labels! Use a printer, find a printer, steal a printer, etc. It's just smart. You can copy and paste that weird address exactly as the strange individual who gave it to you wrote it onto your package, and if it doesn't get there, then that's their problem. Really, it is. Format it for them if you want to. At the same time, printed labels are easier to read for the visually impaired gentlemen that work at the local place, and they look professional. Clear tape over the labels, protects them from rain and everything else they'll spill on your box. Also, tape the box shut. Mm'kay?

Shipping:
Ship as soon as the post office opens! You don't get any excuses, not one. You don't get those till you have a good rep and everyone likes you, and even then, you only get one. After that, forget keeping a good reputation.
Walk if you have to.
If you don't have a drivers license, you should probably ask your parents before making a for-sale thread. Seriously. If you have no way to get to the post office or no one to rely on, don't make a for-sale thread if you can't ship.
Anyways, when you get to the post office? Give the nice man behind the counter your box.
And when the gentlemen says, "Do you want delivery confirmation?"
You tell that upstanding citizen, "YES."
They'll give you a paper. Guard it with your life.
It's like, 60 cents, but 60+ rep. Tracking costs more and is better, you could do that too, and if your rep is really bad, you probably should do that for everything.

Pay that handsome man and get out, do anything/act shady and they'll put you on the no-fly list for sure. Grab some priority mail boxes while you are there. They are free, and good for shipping. Hey, with the little ones you don't even need tape.

Then, when you get home from walking to the post office if you had to, you get on ModRetro ASAP and you PM whoever was nice enough to buy from you the number. You triple check when you are typing that number. You then copy paste it into the USPS site and see if it works. Does it? Allllll righty then. It will later, if not, keep checking.
You're basically done now. Keep contact with your buyer, make sure everything's okay, etc.

One thing you may want to mention though is that you can have USPS come to your house and pick up your package for free, if you can't get to the post office yourself.

BUYING:

You new to the forums and want to buy things here? Read this whole post twice before even making a thread.
You been around here for awhile but never done business yet? Read this whole post twice before even making a thread.

Dealing:
Be careful who you deal with. It's just like in real life; you don't deal with the guy in the trench coat in the darkness of the alley between your favorite dentist's office and the pub next to it. Just don't. Also, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Post counts, finished projects, buyer/seller thread; all good indicators of "Should I trust this person or not?"
Here's a tip, search their username on the forums! You'll probably find something.

Offering:
Be reasonable. If they've put up a price, work with it.
Check ebay.
If they are asking for $55 for a GBC game you can get for $5 on ebay, yeah, show them that, offer a little more because you are willing to help out a ModRetro bro.
If they don't want to part with it? It's not your problem, get it on ebay. They get nothing, you get what you wanted in the first place. No big deal.
Also, offer in the thread first, then PM them once/if they accept the deal(or if they say "PM me")

Communication:
Communicate. Make sure everything is clear between you and them, nothing messes up things more than a lack of/unclear communication.
Use PM's, and check them often. The faster you communicate, the faster things get done, and the faster you'll get your items, I promise.

Payment:
Use paypal. Get a paypal account. Just...just get one.
It's better for everyone. It's fast, reliable, and if they scam you, you can file a claim and get your money back AFTER YOU'VE PM'D THEM ABOUT IT. Send money that way, receive money that way. Sending money through the mail is stupid for only about a million reasons.
And honestly? Using other methods is downright shady. So just don't. Avoid it. All the best members who have the best reps and get all the fine ladies have Paypal, like it or not.

Receiving:
Get it, everything's good?
Let the buyer know if you received what you payed for, that way they can sleep at night.

If you payed a metric ton of gold for something, video the unboxing. If everything's fine? It's good.
If your PS3 Laptop is broken in half? That's not good. You have the proof that you didn't open the box and break it yourself. So, go through the processes, notify the other person via PM, work it out with them, hope they got insurance(oh, by the way, you should pay them the extra to have them get insurance if it's something important.) If they aren't responding, it's probably a scam, file a claim, etc.

---

And there you have it.

SS

 

[Ashen]

The intelligent mofo that shipped me this anticipated the dumb*Can'tSayThisOnTV*ery of the postal system

Oh god are they dumb *Can'tSayThisOnTV*s, A few weeks ago I went to ship some flax out and gave the dumb *Can'tSayThisOnTV* behind the counter my visa card, which says on the back "PLEASE SEE MY MOTHER*Can'tSayThisOnTV*ING ID". I've used this card at this same post office 1230981239819 *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing times. This douchebag behind the counter says "hur dur, I can't take this unless its signed". So I'm like here mother*Can'tSayThisOnTV*, here's my I.D. NOPE CANT *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ING TAKE THAT, has to be signed. BLah blah, see the manager, tell him he's a dumb *Can'tSayThisOnTV*. Long story short: I went home and logged into USPS.com and used my unsigned *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing visa card to send the flax anyway. WHAT THE *Can'tSayThisOnTV*. Its a good thing I don't own any guns.

Nice guide SS, btw.

 

[ShockSlayer]

Thanks.

Yeah, they can be silly sometimes, there's this one guy that has been working at my post office for over 20 years, and they have to say the exact same lines over and over and over again, I get the feeling he really hates his job. I try to get the old ladies, atleast they seem like they have life in them.

SS

 

[Zero]

Really entertaining guide. One thing you may want to mention though is that you can have USPS come to your house and pick up your package for free, if you can't get to the post office yourself.

 

[Ashen]

Thanks.

Yeah, they can be silly sometimes, there's this one guy that has been working at my post office for over 20 years, and they have to say the exact same lines over and over and over again, I get the feeling he really hates his job. I try to get the old ladies, atleast they seem like they have life in them.

SS

I'm so sorry man, but I totally have to *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing sig that.

 

[bud]

*Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing epic guide. Put a mother*Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing link to this in the mother*Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing rules you dirty double Jolly African American.

 

[BoFoSho]

Great guide for buying and selling... I should know

Edit: You forgot the water bottle packing material.

 

[ShockSlayer]

Thanks.

Yeah, they can be silly sometimes, there's this one guy that has been working at my post office for over 20 years, and they have to say the exact same lines over and over and over again, I get the feeling he really hates his job. I try to get the old ladies, atleast they seem like they have life in them.

SS

I'm so sorry man, but I totally have to *Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing sig that.

oh god Dang it

*Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing epic guide. Put a mother*Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing link to this in the mother*Can'tSayThisOnTV*ing rules you dirty double Jolly African American.

Mm'kay.

 

[ttsgeb]

Leaving feedback is also a good idea. positive, negative, nothing special but still gets flax done, the world wants to know.

If you leave feedback, the same might happen to you, which is a good thing. If it isn't a good thing, don't worry about it, feedback WILL be left for you anyway.

note: when you are an established trader, dealing with established traders, this isnt nearly as necessary, but it's a great idea starting out, and a great idea when working with ttsgeb the sketch as *Can'tSayThisOnTV* guy in the alley

 

[Basement_Modder]

No joke- this guide almost motivates me to get back in the electronics selling scene.